Two Steps Back

Well, today was an emotional day.

When Miss Avery was first admitted to NICU they talked to us about blood transfusions and told us that about 99% of preemies get them. In order to be ready we had one of our close relatives donate blood for us to have on file should she need it.

Today was the day Miss Avery ended up needing it. She was only 2 weeks away from greatly increasing her odds of not needing a transfusion. The primary reason preemies end up needing blood is because of the amount taken from them while in the hospital. Babies can not produce their own blood cells until 6 weeks of age and so if you take take take prior to that 6 week point the probability is they will need blood. Miss Avery was looking really good until today.

In addition yesterday she started doing a few dips again, today she continued. So with the blood transfusion and her dipping her cpap bump rate was increased back to what it was before (10 bpm). Hopefully once she gets blood she will start feeling better and will be able to go back to a zero bump rate on the cpap.

It is also looking like this weekend they will be adding fortifier to her milk in order to increase the calories she is receiving. Currently Miss Avery isn't really gaining much weight and hopefully this will help.

Miss Avery is also being checked for an eye infection. She has one eye that seems to continually produce gunk. It is always the same eye so they are taking a sample and sending it off to see if she has an infection.

With Avery having almost a solid week doing great it was really hard to walk in there tonight and find out about her few steps back. I just wanted to scoop Avery up and just hold her close and tell her it will be alright. Through out our visit tonight I had to sit back a little bit away from her because if I sat too close I would have cried through the entire visit. I hate the though of her not feeling well. And looking at her helpless little self in that bed just makes it so much worse when I know there is absolutely nothing I can do for her. It breaks my heart into little pieces. I want her well so bad.

Pat was just as stressed out. The difference from him and I is that instead of crying he just kind of gets quiet and shuts down. It is emotionally exhausting when she has days like this. Good days are definitely ahead for Miss Avery, however doesn't make today anymore fun.

Good Grades

So Miss Avery had another good day Monday. On Sunday her cpap bump rate was changed to zero which means they are testing her at the lowest level. If she does well with it then they take her off c-pap and put her on a nasal cannula. The nasal cannula is a little less obtrusive and is a step closer to needing no assistance with breathing. Miss Avery of course still has a way to go with all this since the apnea stuff usually continues to week 34 and Miss Avery would only be week 29 as of this past Sunday.

So far Miss Avery seems to be doing very well with the zero bump rate. Monday day no dips just lots off good breathing and good heart rate maintenance. On Monday evening she did have a couple heart rate drops, but it didn't sound like it was anything major. And as of Tuesday she was back to her high stats or as her Daddy calls it she was making good grades.

She was so good that on both Monday and Tuesday we were able to hold her. Both days she was just a stylin' in her new hat. Monday I did kangaroo care and today we just held our little burrito, or actually I held her. Daddy said it's his turn tomorrow. I think he gave me today because we were running late and he wanted tomorrow so he could holder her longer...he thinks he is sneaky, but I'm on to his little game.

Oh and look at Miss Avery's new condo decoration:

She did it!

Today was the day!!!

Miss Avery broke 2 lbs!!

Of course Mommy and Daddy are both very excited. We know it is possible that she will hover a bit and even that she may lose a little bit because just like us her weight fluxuates, however this is a milestone! Miss Avery is now officially working her way to 3 lbs!! And with 3 lbs comes BABY FAT!! I can't wait to see baby fat! We keep hearing they start to move fast after they break 2 lbs...so I guess now we get to watch and see. It took her 24 days to get to 2 lbs.

In addition Daddy got to do Kangaroo care for the first time. It was very sweet. I think Daddy enjoyed it as much as Avery did.

Mommy of course had to check out how sweet Miss Avery looked sleeping in Daddy's arms. It was just the sweetest thing.

Oh and to top off the day, Avery got a new closet today thanks to DW! How cute is that! Right now it is stuffed with blankets, but when she gets a little bigger we will get to stuff it with clothes as well!!:

What a great day for Miss Avery!

Big Day

Miss Avery had a very big day today!

Her feedings were increased to 4.4 ccs per hour. Her fluids were completely removed which also resulted in her picc line being removed. How exciting is that!

Then Avery had her c-pap and feeding tubes taken out in order to be changed which meant for a brief time there was no tape or tubes attached to Avery's face. This was actually the first time Pat and I got to see her pretty face completely unobstructed.

Next she was weighed and came in at her highest weight yet! Miss Avery weighed in at 1 lb 15.6 ozs (896 grams)! Only .4 ozs to go to reach 2 lbs!!

And if that was not enough Avery had a bath today. A big bath in which Mommy and Daddy both got to help.

After her bath Miss Avery had her tubes reattached and was sent off to bed to recoup from her exciting day. She was definitely tuckered out because she was sound a sleep in no time.

Good Days

So last couple days Miss Avery has been pretty good. She has been having great numbers and has been having fewer dips. In addition on Wednesday Miss Avery weighed in at 874 grams. This is 1 gram away from her birth weight and the highest she has weighed since. She weighed the same yesterday as well, so we were pretty excited about that.

She is getting 4 ccs of food per hour right now, which is about 3 ounces a day. She seems to be handling it pretty well too.

Since Miss Avery has been being good we have been able to hold her for the past couple days. Daddy had his turn on Wednesday and I had mine last night.

We have also gotten in some good diaper practice lately. Not to mention suctioning. Avery had her first suction by Daddy last night. Avery is a great bubbly blower, however those bubble accumulate into a lot of yuck, which as I mentioned before is a result of all the extra tubes going in. So in addition to the 4 times a day the nurses give her a good suction she also sometimes gets it with the ball suction which Pat used last night.

All in all Miss Avery has had a good couple day.

Weight Gain

Miss Avery seemed to be doing pretty well today. Her nurse said she stayed at 21% O2 through out the day. Both Pat and I were able to hold her. They did add potassium to the food as a result of taking away the fluids, but other than that nothing major. Her blood sugar was up this am to 116. I was to the normal range is between 50 and 150, however 116 is kind of high so they are going to check it again in the morning.

This evening Miss Avery's weight was at 862 grams up from 846, however after being weighed she was suctioned and had lots and lots of yuck come out. Miss Avery is typically suctioned 4 times a day. This is just to help her remove all the mucus and stuff that builds up since she is not big enough to do it on her own. Term babies need to be suctioned when there noses and stuff gets stopped up. This is basically the same thing, but from what I have been told since they have all these tubes going into their bodies that don't belong they tend to make more yuck that they would normally. So tonight there was a lot of yuck and so I wouldn't be surprised if tomorrow she was down a little in the weight. We don't want to get our hopes up that her gain was for real. So we will weight and see what tomorrow holds. Hopefully she won't be back down to 850.

Here are a couple pictures since I haven't posted any in a couple days.

Her new blanket:

Holding her passy:

I have a video of her sucking her passy, however I think the file is to big because I get an error when I try to upload it. Next time she has her passy I'll try again. It's really cute watching her hold it in her mouth.

Pretty in Purple

So yesterday Miss Avery was back to being pretty good. She didn't have too many dips and was able to stay on 21% O2 most of the day. They increased her food intake to 3.6 ccs per hour which is the equivalent of about 17 teaspoons per day. They also took her off fluids. They ran a glucose test yesterday to see how she did without fluids and as of last night her sugar was fine. We were told it came in at 80. This was around kick out time (shift change for nurses) so I didn't get the chance to ask what the normal range is. This morning they are going to do a little more in depth workup to see how she is doing without fluids. I was told they were going to check things like her potassium levels, glucose again, and a few other things.

Now Miss Avery did lose a little weight yesterday. She went down to 846 grams from 850. There is a bigger baby right next to her and I keep telling her she needs to visualize being that big, but she just doesn't seem to get it. Either that or she is like me and is going to do the opposite of whatever you tell her, so maybe I'll quit telling her to think big thoughts.

Other than that Miss Avery did get a new blanket yesterday. So now instead of having a pretty in pink condo she has a pretty in purple condo with her name embroidered front and center. I think she even started the day in a purple bow on her headband to match her purple blanket. Yes, yes, they are all about some color coordination and stylin' babies up at the NICU.

Weekend Update

So Miss Avery had an up and down weekend. She didn't do horribly, but that apnea is really no fun. Both yesterday and today she was all over the map with the breathing so they increased her bpm (breaths per minute) on her c-pap, which is that thing you see in her nose that provides bursts (breaths) of O2 in order to help her breath, from 10 bpm to 20 bpm. In addition it seems like her O2 is being kept a little higher than usual. Normally it stays at 21-23%, however it seems to be staying around 24-25% this past weekend.

They ran more lab work on Miss Avery to make sure everything is still looking good and from what it sounds like everything came back normal. This is the second or third time they have ran lab work to see if anything is wrong (infections, etc) and as of yet nothing has shown up. It does concern me a little that they have ran lab work so often but that nothing has come back. I am sure they are just running the lab work to be cautious, but it makes me wonder a little if something is going on with her that isn't showing up. It is always possible that like any of us after being in the hospital and being poked and prodded every few hours she is just tired and that is messing with her breathing.

Overall she is still doing very well this is just one of those up and down things. She will get to her 4-5 lbs. She will get over all this apnea stuff and anything else that might pop up, however the road is going to have bumps. As we all know the things most worth doing in life are seldom easy and this is no different. Miss Avery is working at what she needs to, so she will get where she needs to be.

Easter Pictures

Many of you know that Avery has some great nurses. Our personal favorites thus far are WH, HB, and DW. We are thrilled anytime they are taking care of Avery. When they are there we have no doubt Avery is being well cared for. It takes a special person to work in NICU and with these particular ladies not only are they great at what they do it is obvious they love it as well.

Now as for DW she is a fabulous nurse, but in addition she is also a great photographer. And we were blessed with her offering to take some pictures for us on Avery's first Easter, which we truly appreciate.

Here are just a few of the pictures DW took for us on Easter:

This is my personal favorite:

Making Progress

Yesterday Miss Avery had quite the eventful day. She had her picc line changed which was stressful, however she came through quite well. I was worried that after her picc line change she would have a day like last Saturday but that wasn't the case. She actually did pretty well after the picc line change despite the stress. In addition to her picc line change they increased her food to 2.9 ccs per hour. They also changed the way she gets her amophyllin. She will now get it mixed in with her food which means she is one more step closer to not needing a picc line. And last but not least they have stopped putting gel on her. This is of course another good sign. I am going to miss putting it on her, but I am so glad she is making some forward progress. Oh and how can I forget that she finished out the night with a passy. Her night nurse was determined to give it a try. Seemed like Miss Avery liked it. She was pretty cute holding it in place.

As for today, Miss Avery had a great day. She didn't have a single dip during either of our visits. And it sounded like her whole day was pretty good. Now as for weight she maintained 850 grams for the fourth day in a row. She didn't gain, but then again she didn't lose either.

So all in all Miss Avery is doing very well.

Better Day

Miss Avery had a much better day yesterday and we had really good visits with her. Daddy got to hold her in her condo. He practiced his diapering skills and he even put on her gel. Miss Avery seemed to love it all, maybe not the diapering, but she loved the rest of it. There is no doubt this little one is going to be a daddy's girl. In addition to getting to interact with Avery another thing that made the visit so nice was that not only was she being good but I guess the other babies in her pod were as well because it was rather quiet. Normally if her machines are not beeping another babies are. It seems like there are always machines going off in every direction. We joke that once she does come home we are going to have to buy her a cd of nothing but sirens and beeping noises in order for her to sleep. It can be overwhelming sometimes. So having a reprieve from the more hectic days is nice.

Yesterday she was actually the most alert we have seen her yet. On both visits she had her eyes open a good bit and seemed to be looking around. We were told to buy or make her some developmental cards that they can put up inside her condo since she is getting more alert. So we will take that as a sign of progress. Heck, we will take whatever we can as a sign of progress.

Avery is due to have her picc line evaluated. This is kind of like an IV, however it can stay in longer. Instead of having to be changed out every 3-4 days the picc line can stay in around 10-14 days. Miss Avery is not going to like having her picc line changed so we are not sure what kind of day she will have after they change it out so this makes me kind of nervous. Only good thing is her second one will most likely be her last one. Avery is on IV fluids which is one of the main reasons for the picc line. My understanding is that as they increase her feeding amount they are able to decrease the fluids. And in another 10-14 days she should be receiving a high enough feeding dose so as to not need the additional fluids which is why her picc line should be able to come out.

And last but not least we are happy to report that Miss Avery did not lose anymore weight yesterday. She weighed in at 850 grams just like she did the night before. We are going to take this as a good sign because we were expecting weight loss due to the diuretic. Plus we were told she had two large diapers, however she didn't go down. So I am going to take that to mean that maybe she was putting on some real weight which offset the loss of the bad weight (water and waste). We will see what she does tonight. If her weight goes down that will be ok, but it would be so nice to see it go up.

Having Miss Avery in NICU is definitely a roller coaster ride. She has her good days and bad days and so does Mom and Dad. I have to say some days even when she is doing great I am completely emotional and just thinking about her or looking at a picture makes me cry. The one thing that keeps me sane is getting to see her. Even if all I get to do is sit next to her little condo and watch her sleep I at least get to be close to her. Dad seems to be a little better at keeping it together, but he has his days too. We are fortunate Miss Avery is doing so well.

Off Day

So Miss Avery did not have the best of days yesterday. It was not the worst of days. It was nothing like last Saturday, however it was an off day. She had a couple dips and they gave her an extra dose of her amophyllin (her pick me up). They also put her on a diuretic. I guess it is pretty normal since they receive so much fluid.

So we are expecting her to lose a little weight as a result of the diuretic. Yesterday when they weighed her she was back to 850 grams from 866 grams. It's not much of a change, but still it is not in the direction we want her to go. We really are not looking forward to seeing her move back any further.

We realize nothing about her situation is out of the norm, however it doesn't make it any easier to see her have to be given extra medications and to lose weight even if it is only a little. It just feels like we are getting further away from her coming home vs getting closer which is what we want.

Overall she is doing great and we realize this is going to be a long road. We have been told over and over to expect ups and downs. She is going to have good days and bad but that doesn't make them any more tolerable to watch especially since there is nothing we can do to help her.

Daddy's Turn

Well Miss Avery had another good day. She of course has a few dips, but nothing more than normal. Nothing like last Saturday thankfully!

We got to hold her again last night. This time it was all Daddy's turn. The past two times I hogged her, so it was only fair that Pat got to hog her for awhile. It was a really great visit. She seemed to really enjoy being in her Daddy's arms.

When they put her back up they had one of her blankets across her. It looked like they were strapping her in. The nurse called it her seat belt. Miss Avery likes to pop her booty up and flop herself on to her side. This is their attempt to keep her in place. She is quite a wiggle worm so it will be interesting to see if it works. I hope it does because the less she moves the less calories she burns and the more weight she gains which is the goal.

Miss Avery only needs another 1 1/2 ozs to get to 2 lbs! Let's pray she gets there soon. Word is once babies hit the 2 lb mark they fly to 3 lbs. I can't wait!!!

Easter Weekend

So Avery had a busy Easter weekend!

Saturday Avery was a trouble maker! She had several dips (heart rate and blood oxygen level) all related to her forgetting to breath. They have been working to get her ammophyllin levels right. That is the drug they use to help her remember to breath. It's her caffeine wake up call. This behavior is completely normal for a baby her age, however it doesn't make it any less stressful for Mom and Dad who are sitting there watching her heart rate go from 56 to 180 and back repeatedly when it should be staying around 140-155. We want her to sail through NICU. We don't want her to have any rough days. So Saturday was a little stressful.

Luckily we finished up Saturday on a light note. Daddy changed Miss Avery's diapers for the first time. It had to be the cutest thing I have ever seen! It was cute from the start, but what topped it off was Daddy putting the diaper on backwards. I have to say this definitely made me feel better about my diapering skills. We even had her nurse laughing. And I have to say after the day we had on Saturday it was a well needed laugh and a great note to end the day on. Avery has the sweetest Daddy.

Easter was a completely different day. Avery was just about the opposite of Saturday. Instead of having dips she was maintaining nice healthy levels. She was being so good that DW (nurse extrodinaire) was able to take pictures for us. She does photography on the side and so she brought her nice camera and took some really great pictures. She had Miss Avery wear Daddy's wedding ring as a bracelet. Which was too cute! She took some of Miss Avery holding the Easter Chick her daddy bought her. She even took some of us holding Miss Avery. It was really great. I can't wait to see the pictures. I don't know if DW realizes it or not, but what was so great about the picture taking is of course for one we are going to get some very memorable pictures. That of course is fantastic, but in addition while we were taking pictures with Miss Avery we were able to forget for a little bit where we were and just enjoy being with our daugheter. Which to me was the best part of all.

Avery

So Miss Avery is still doing wonderfully. She is up to 850 grams. She just needs another 25 to get back to her birth weight. Per her nurse once the babies hit 2 lbs they tend to take off so we are praying she gets to 2 lbs pretty quickly. She only needs 2 more ounces.

They upped Avery's food intake again and they changed how she is being fed. They have changed her over to what is called continuous feed. Instead of doing feedings every 3 hours they now have a constant feed. The purpose of this is so that her little belly doesn't get so full all at once. I have mentioned before that Avery forgets to breath and has heart rate drops which is normal for babies of her age and actually normal all the way up to babies at 34 weeks. Avery will be 27 weeks Sunday so this will continue for another 7 weeks. The nurse noticed that her heart rate drops seemed to coincide with her feedings, so since she is 27 weeks this will not completely stop the forgetting to breath and heart rate drops but hopefully it will decrease the frequency. They told us before that they would eventually change her feeding type. It is pretty standard practice so it was no surprise to us. But the nurse said just like when we feel stuffed and can't breath it is no different for her, so changing the feeding method will hopefully help her breathing.

Today I changed her diaper for the first time. Some of the other nurses have asked if I wanted to in the past, however I have to say moving her about like that makes me nervous so I have declined. Today's nurse didn't really give me the option but I am glad. I learned I am a horrible diaper changer but I will get better. On this evenings diaper change I almost diapered in one of her wires. It is kinda fun changing her diaper. I doubt I'll be saying that when she gets bigger though. That's when it will be daddy's job.

We did Kangaroo care again. Pat had a slightly sore throat so he didn't touch her tonight, so once again I got to hog her. She seems to really like the kangaroo care. She tolerated it for a good 20 plus minutes. They even brought in a nice comfy chair for us to use for kangaroo care. It was wonderful. It is so great getting to be close to her.

Oh and other great news thanks to a couple great friends we also have a wonderful nurse who has taken special interest in Avery. This particular nurse has requested to be Avery's primary care nurse so that any time she is working she has Avery. I think this is absolutely wonderful. She seems to be a great nurse and is really nice. So Pat and I are very thankful to those friends who pointed this blessing our way.

One more picture

Ok, I just had to post this picture. On our last visit last night Avery was completely zonked! She was resting so peaceful and looked so content. I think this has to be one of my favorite pictures of her so far, so I thought I'd share.

1 Week Old!

Yesterday Miss Avery was one week old! And she seems to be doing wonderfully. For her birthday we decked out her condo with some new blankys. The last two days we had one of our favorite nurses and yesterday she told us we could bring receiving blanket to personalize her area vs using the boring blue and white striped ones the hospital has. So after our morning visit Avery's Aunt Tammy and I went blanky shopping. Miss Avery now has a nice little stack of blankets all ready to keep her in style.

Yesterday was a big day for Mr. Daddy too. Pat was able to feed Avery as well as rub the gel on her back. He said it makes him nervous because he is afraid he is going to hurt her. Avery doesn't know it yet but she has the best Daddy in the world.

We were there while Avery was being weighed. She didn't really gain anything yesterday, but she didn't lose anything either. I think she was up a couple grams. We can't wait for her to reach 2 lbs! It's not too far away- just another ounce or so. The nurse told us I need to make sure and have a high protein diet because protein is what will make her grow, so now that she told me that I am on it.

Oh and we are not watching to see if Avery is going to become a finger sucker or a thumb sucker because as soon as the nurse took out her little feeding tube Miss Avery started figuring out exactly how many fingers she could stick in her mouth at one time. The answer is 3. She can get 3 fingers in her mouth.

Kangaroo Care

Today was a great day with Miss Avery. Not only did I get to feed her and put gel on her back, but I was also able to do something called kangaroo care. Kangaroo care is when they take the baby and allow you to hold her skin on skin. They actually took Miss Avery and tucked her inside my shirt. It was so great to feel her next to me and feel her little hands and feet move. She was actually quite relaxed through the whole thing, which was surprising, because she is quite a wiggle worm. So much of a wiggle worm before the nurse let us hold her we were actually watching her just about flip herself over in her incubator. I was honestly expecting her to squirm while I had her. I guess calming the baby is suppose to be one of the benefits of kangaroo care. In addition it is also suppose to help mothers with milk production.

Pat didn't get to hold Avery last night. Typically when they allow us to hold her she is wrapped up and so it makes for easy transition from one parent to the other, however with kangaroo care she is not wrapped up so there is no easy transition. On the plus side though dads can do kangaroo care, so he will get his turn to hog her for an evening soon enough.

Other than that she is still doing well. When they weighed her it sounded like she actually gained some, so she is on her way up! They did tell us it would be normal if she lost more, however lets enjoy the gaining when it happens.

They also increased her food intake to 5cc's which is 1 teaspoon. Avery drinks 8 teaspoons of milk per day. Can you imagine?

I made a little video of her while I was there on my morning visit. She isn't doing anything special, just mild squirming. I just thought it would be nice to have something at home reminiscent of a visit.

Avery Kate- April 7, 2009

Well Avery has been in the world 5 days now and seems to be taking to everything as well as can be expected.

I went to visit her this morning. Her lights were gone and she was resting peacefully in her little condo. Here is a picture of her condo. The incubator (aka condo) keeps out a lot more germs than the warmer she was originally in. In addition the temperature can be monitored better. It is all around a better environment for her. She seems to like it.

The nurse came over and did her check up which they do every 5 hours or so. They check her blood pressure, temperature, change her diaper, etc. Avery is not a big fan of all this messing about and she definitely lets them know with her pityful little cry. However, after they are done with all the messing around Avery is usually even more content than she was before.

After the nurse finished her check up she let me put gel on Avery's back. This gel is designed I guess to help keep the moisture in as well as body heat. Avery doesn't seem to mind it being rubbed on her and I live for any interaction I can get with her. The picture with my hand putting the gel on her back really does give some perspective on her size.

Also while there I noticed her weight started to go back up. She was 875 gms when she was born. The other day she was down to 812 gms. And as of the 6th she was up to 820 gms. They said it was normal for her to lose weight at first and that she would eventually start to gain. So we are hoping yesterdays weight is a sign that she will be on that gaining track very soon.

On our evening visit they told us they went ahead and put her on the drug for breathing. From what the nurses said since they put her on it they haven't had to stimulate her so that is good.

I guess the nurses stay the same for 2 days in a row and then change. The nurse we had yesterday and today isn't very big on parent interaction, so I have to say I am so ready to see who the nurse is next. She isn't a bad nurse, we have just been spoiled with some of our other nurses. For the past 2 days the only time I have been able to touch her is when I got to put the gel on her back. There are some nurses there who you can just tell love their jobs. They make you feel like your baby is getting love while you are not there and they make you feel so welcomed and involved as parents when you are there. It is soothing for me to have these nurses so I would think they would be more soothing for Avery as well. We have been fortunate to have a couple of those nurses so far. They spoiled us. I miss them and I miss touching my baby girl.

Avery Kate

Went to see Miss Avery this morning. She was of course doing wonderfully. She was being a bit of a wiggle worm today and didn't seem to want to get situated.

They had her under the blue lights again for the jaundice. I guess they monitor a chemical in her blood called bilirubin. They put the babies under the light if they have a bilirubin score of 5 or above. Yesterday hers was 4.9 so they went ahead and put her under the light. Today her score was down to a 2.2. When we went back this evening the lights were gone. They said in the morning they will check and see how much her bilirubin goes up and that will determine if the lights come back.

Also found out today there is a drug that most babies Avery's size are on so that they don't forget to breath, however Miss Avery is such a champ she hasn't had to be put on it. Doesn't mean in the future she might not, just means for right now she is doing pretty well at remembering to breath on her own. She does forget to breath, however from what the nurse said no more than if she was on the drug. I guess it is pretty standard for the little ones to do this. When she forgets to breath the nurses just come over and jiggle her little booty and tell her to wake up and she does. She usually gets irritated with them messing with her, but then settles down.

They upped her feeding amount from 2.2 cc's to 3.3 cc's every 3 hours. Another good sign. She seems to be taking to her mothers milk quite well. Sounds like they evaluate her feeding amounts every other day and determine whether to increase it or not.

We bought miss Avery her first teddy bear today. We will be washing it and taking it up to be put in her condo hopefully tomorrow. The rule is she can have it as long as it is smaller than her.

The nurses were telling us today that a former NICU baby came up for a visit today. They said he was one of there smallest when he was born and that now he is 18 months and looks like he is 3 he is so big. Hearing stories like that are a nice reminder that this phase of Avery's life is going to be a small small piece of it. In a few months she will be home and just like any other baby. Granted when she first comes home we will have to be germaphobic, but I hear that only lasts for a few months than it can be life as normal. We have no problems being germaphobic if it will keep little Miss Avery Kate healthy.

Avery Kate- April 2, 2009

As many of our friends and family members know Avery Kate blessed us with her presence April 2, 2009 at 8:42 am. She weighed 1 lb 15 oz and was 13 3/4 inches long.

As of last night Mommy was released from the hospital so today begins a whole new journey. We know that Avery is in the best possible place, that she is in wonderful hands and is even doing wonderfully, however that doesn't change the fact that it is hard getting into that car and coming home without her.

Luckily before coming home we had an absolutely wonderful visit with her. Miss Avery was moved into her own little condo (Isalet) complete with her own little blanky monogrammed with her name and birth date. And while the beds were being changed out Daddy got to hold his little angel. She was so calm and peaceful. Perfectly content in Daddy's arms. After she got switched over and situated in her new home Mommy was able to feed her. She has a little feeding tube and at the end they attach the syringe filled with Mommy's milk and you just hold it like you would a bottle being careful she doesn't drink it too fast but that she is drinking it. We waited until she was perfectly situated and calm before leaving. Daddy always has a little pep in his step after he gets to see her. Mommy too, but Mommy is a cry baby and tends to tear up pretty easily.

We were told that we can take in a little CD player or voice recorder- something small and battery powered. They said we could bring her music to listen to or record ourselves reading books to her. So that is something we will be working to do. We can also bring her little toys and more blankets to personalize her area and we will. We will do anything we can for our little girl.

When we got home last night there was silence in the house and this lingering feeling that something is missing. While at the hospital we know that she is just down the hall and even when we are not in there with us she is near. And in the hospital we know that everything we are doing is for her. When you get home it's like now what?

I guess one of the now whats is to begin to process everything that has occurred. Daddy is being very strong. Mommy is a bit of a mess, but is doing OK. Last night a friend sent over a card that played a lullaby and said "Some of the biggest joys in life come in the smallest packages. She will be home soon"....talk about a ball fest. Both Mommy and Daddy couldn't help cry over that one.

Today is a new day though and I guess the beginning of a new routine. Daddy is getting ready for work and waiting for 8:00 so that he can call and get an update on Miss Avery. Mommy is lucky she actually gets to go see Miss Avery this am to take her some more milk. Mommy never thought pumping would be something she would look forward to however it is definitely the highlight of Mommy's day. It is the one thing Mommy can do to help her little girl.